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Friendship International: Loving People and Crossing Boundaries
Loneliness. Isolation. Fear.
These are just a few of the emotions that can plague a person living in a foreign land. The women of the Elkhorn Baptist Association of Kentucky understand this and for the last thirty-five years have used Christian friendship and the love of Jesus to help lessen the struggles of international women who have moved to the Central Kentucky area.
Simply known as Friendship International (FI), the program reaches out to approximately 200 women whose spouses have relocated to the Bluegrass region for study or employment. Begun in 1973, the participants meet on Thursday mornings from September to May at Immanuel Baptist Church in Lexington. While there, they can take part in a variety of classes designed to familiarize the women with the culture and make them more comfortable in their surroundings. Classes may be about anything from cooking, to crafting, to Bible study, to English lessons. In recent years there has also been the occasional field trip to a local landmark or historical museum--all in an effort to give the women a taste of the Bluegrass area and make their transition easier.
But don’t let the curriculum fool you. Friendship International isn’t about schooling and learning. It’s about relationships.
The idea of providing an oasis for international women was originally implemented by Darlene Mays who, while living with her husband in student housing at the University of Kentucky, noticed there was a need to make the students from abroad feel welcome in the community. Then, after a brief stay in Texas where she witnessed a similar program, Mays implemented Friendship International upon her return to Lexington. And by all accounts, it has proven to have phenomenal results.
Current FI director, Elizabeth Clapp, has been at the helm of the operation for five years. Each week, she organizes thirty-plus volunteers to meet, greet, and interact with the international women. Another group provides high-quality child care for the young mothers who participate. The goal is to allow the ladies to interact with one another and make their stay in America not only a bit easier but “one of the finest experiences of their lives.”
Betty Miller, a six-year volunteer speaks for all when she says, “We’re here to be a friend to an international in our country who needs help navigating our culture and show her the love of Christ.”
And showing love they are. As the both the U.S. and the international women get to know one another, special bonds begin to form that benefit both sets of people.
Long-time volunteer, Ann Brock, has noticed unique relationships form through the years. “Many of the younger women are looking for a mother or a grandmother figure, especially when they have young children of their own.” Thanks to their involvement with FI, many of them are able to gain that important relationship.
Many have had similar experiences. “They’re always so grateful,” Susan Meadors, one of several nursery workers explains. “They say things like, ‘Thank you for loving our children.’ It just melts your heart. They see us as being a blessing, but really, we’re the ones receiving the blessing.”
It is those priceless bonds and relationships that also sustain many of the international women through difficult times. Several years ago, an Iraqi participant learned of the death of her father and was unable to return to Iraq and be with her family. Instead, she turned to the women with whom she’d grown in FI and found a different family to give her comfort. As a result, she proclaimed, “This is the place to be when happy and when sad.”
Yet, make no mistake. FI isn’t just a scheduled girls’ day out. The model of this program is Jesus. As Director Clapp explains, “We’re not here to Christianize them. We’re here to show them Christ’s love.”
Betty Miller agrees. “A lady once told me, ‘We can’t all be missionaries in a foreign country, but we call all be missionaries right here.’”
With this mind set, the program is spreading Christ’s love throughout the world. Today, women from fifty-two countries participate in FI. The majority come from Japan thanks to a nearby Toyota plant, but there are participants from every continent except Antarctica. Some were Christians prior to FI, but others are learning about Jesus’ love through the example of the volunteers and their services. The volunteers are sometimes even able to connect international women with an international church already established in the area.
This strategy of love seems to be working.
“They gush about how pleased they are,” says Meadors. “One lady that left to go back to her homeland wrote notes to us that said, ‘I’ll remember how nice you were my whole life.’”
However, working with people from different lands and backgrounds sometimes forces everyone to be flexible. Once, a muslim woman was nervous about putting her children in child care. As such, she wanted her toddler and infant to stay together. This request did not fall in line with the nursery set-up. But, with some quick adjustments, they accommodated her request. The result was a highly favorable impression left on the young, muslim mother.
Naomi Shimazu, participant from Japan, has also had a positive experience at FI. Having learned about FI from a friend, Naomi joined and is thankful she did. “It’s been a big help,” she admits. “I have made many friends. I had a cooking class. My teacher taught me many American cooking styles.” Her experience has been so useful that when asked how she is enjoying her time in the area, she quickly responds, “I love Lexington!”
Yet, for everyone involved in FI, there have been some unintended, yet important, side effects. Prior to FI, Ann Brock admits she would have skimmed over national news stories in the newspaper. Yet, after meeting women from around the globe, she takes a much more personal interest. “You get a better understanding of people and develop a deeper interest. You also see the news and start to pray for them and their home country.”
With such strong ties that are formed, volunteers and participants alike are a bit reluctant when May rolls around and FI is suspended for the summer. But even that problem has been somewhat resolved. Each year in the spring, one of the associational churches hosts Friendship Sunday where the program’s participants can show off any of their new found skills or perform a number that represents their homeland. This may include singing or ceremonial dancing. And, while the event is intended to be entertaining, it also educates the local congregation about the various cultures represented at FI--something highly valuable when praying for international missionaries.
Each year there is also a Friendship Yearbook that is created that gives the contact information of the volunteers and participants alike. The book contains the participants names, addresses, and nationalities. Anyone associated with FI can receive the book to stay connected with others.
And making connections is what Friendship International was designed to do. “We’ve crossed so many boundaries,” Ann Brock says proudly. And, indeed, Friendship International will be crossing more in the years to come.
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